TISM Releases The “C” Word!
On Friday 15 December at 12.01am TISM will release their brand new ep The “C” Word, which will be available on streaming services, CD and 12” vinyl.
With caterwauling commentary and a cracking chorus, The “C” Word takes us up crap creek in the colloquial canoe.
TISM recently announced forthcoming live shows. Sign up here for earliest news on East Coast dates.
When asked for comment regarding the forthcoming release and live shows, TISM provided the following statement:
TISM’s POLITICAL MANIFESTO
Like all Australian music performers except for Midnight Oil, TISM has an acute political and economic awareness.
To all the nay-sayers, we reply: we’ve done our research.
We are of course aware the phrase “I’ve done my research” has, in this new digital era, two meanings:
A. I have undertaken a painstaking process of constructing a preliminary hypothesis that expresses my best explanation for what I observe in reality, then carefully researched its accuracy by designing tests that scrupulously eliminate the possibility of bias, and, afterwards, presented my conclusions to peers in order for them to check the accuracy of my observations, always with the understanding that all hypotheses are provisional and are to be abandoned upon the emergence of countervailing data.
B. I’ve gone online and found shit I agree with.
We are sure it will be obvious which of these two definitions apply to us.
The TISM Political Manifesto
1. Sussan Ley’s Strip Club Ban
Although it’s not something we’d rush to see ourselves, TISM think that if Sussan Ley wants to appear in a strip club, they should let her.
2. Henry Kissinger
Some found his power politics distasteful, but we think there were many justifications for the bombing of Boronia. It’s tough, kid, but it’s life.
3. The Israel-Hummus war
Look, we know this is a sensitive topic, but we fail to see why there should be so much dispute over a chickpea-based condiment. Instead of war, why can’t we just have peas?
4. The dangers of weak political leadership
As experts in weakness, TISM acknowledge that Peter Dutton’s strong leadership style is vital in an emergency. Whether in its manufacture, prolongation, or intensification, he is excellent at managing every stage of a crisis, except the solving of it. Even this last point is unfair. Under his steady watch as Minister for Home Affairs, there were no illegal arrivals by boat – the borders of Australia remained safe, and except for organized criminals infiltrating the country, women being trafficked, parts of the international education sector and migration agency industry becoming entangled in entrenched corruption, vast sums of the money spent on running the Pacific Solution being rorted, the Home Affairs ministry being designed and run by a Secretary who had to later be dismissed for failing the standards of the public service, and who plotted for years with a right wing Liberal party powerbroker; except for Peter sitting at a cabinet table whilst those around him ran an illegal government program costing billions of dollars in compensation and causing untold despair; and under a prime minister who held secret ministries in an unaccountable, bizarre and self-aggrandising act of disregard for all the conventions of cabinet government – except for all that, as we say, thanks to Peter, it was crisis averted.
5. Colon cancer.
This is a controversial stance, but TISM feel money being spent on this is being wasted; we see no diminishment in the use of colons, or even semicolons, and instead call for those resources to be redirected into the fact there’s too many em dashes.
On a lighter note, TISM pick our “best of” list for 2023:
Best TV Drama about Dentistry: The Crown.
Best Baptismal Font: Times-New Roman
Best Song with Two Uses of the “C” Word in the One Title: oh my god, did we win this one!? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. We’d like to thank all the women in our lives, if we had any, for their support. Oh golly. Before we go, we’d just like to say, remember the environment everyone, and save the ouzo layer.