The Beards @ The Metro, 2nd July ’16 – Across The Ocean

The Beards @ The Metro, 2nd July ’16

After over a decade of spreading their bearded gospel the four hirsute Adelaidians known as The Beards are apparently calling it a day.


The word “apparently” being used here because judging by tonight’s full house of swaying singing facial hair, no one wants to see them go. “Its like a cult” remarks my friend as he absorbs the chanting adoring throng before him. Looking around the room , it is hard to disagree.


Tonight we are getting something a little different from The Beards. Yes, still song after song about beards but on this occasion we get two sets: the acoustic “sophisticated” set followed by the raucous rocking one.


Opening up with the  appropriate ‘Born With A Beard’, the crowd participation is fervent to say the least, not just during the songs but between as the beardless roadie is subjected to frequent tongue in cheek booing. On stage banter is almost as much of the show as the songs as frontman Johann Beardraven reads out a string of bad reviews the band suffered in the early days.


The “sophisticated” portion of the set ramps up slightly with ‘Strokin’ My Beard’ and ‘No Beard, No Good’ bringing us to the intermission.
As enjoyable as set one was, part two is where the real fun kicks in.


‘I’m In The Mood…..For Beards’ gets the bearded ball rolling, paving the way for the synth cheese of ‘All The Bearded Ladies’ and the grandiose power ballad  of ‘ There’s Just  Nothing Better Than A Beard’.


Topping things off, and with good cause,  are the hits. ‘You Should Consider Having Sex With A Bearded Man’ and “If Your Dad Doesn’t Have A Beard, You’ve Got Two Mums’ highlight everything that is so delightfully ridiculous about this band.


It remains to be seen whether The Beards are genuinely retiring or toying with us, but if tonight was their last ever Sydney show then they certainly went out with facial haired flair. BEARDS!

Photos: Benon Julius William Otto Koebsch

Gavin Stocker

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Outside of Across The Ocean Gavin Stocker writes, records and performs music under the moniker of P Truck.

He can also be found clinging to his youth on a skateboard or wandering aimlessly through the bush.
Gavin Stocker