The Beards @ Studio 6, 8th May ’14 – Across The Ocean

The Beards @ Studio 6, 8th May ’14

One might think a band that records and performs songs exclusively about beards could only take such a concept so far but over the years The Beards continue to push their message to new and ridiculous heights.

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When I first encountered them in late 2010 I deemed their antics extreme but now several years later I realise they were just warming up.

Tonight we find ourselves in Studio 6 in Sutherland for the opening night of the band’s tour in support of latest release The Beard Album (its literally covered in hair) and a hearty group of predominantly hirsute revellers are in attendance.

Opening track I Like Beards is an understatement of epic proportions and triggers off 75 minutes of rampant bearded propaganda.

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Crowd fave If Your Dad Doesn’t Have A Beard, You’ve Got Two Mums gets an early airing and fervent response before we are singing along helplessly to The Bearded Appliance Store.

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Throughout the set there is mutual beard fondling between band and audience members alike, as the unfortunate beardless are subjected to frequent ridicule and forced to undertake the Bearded Pledge – a solemn vow to never shave again.

The thing about this band is that whilst the whole thing has to be a joke, they deliver it with a disturbing sincerity which is a little unsettling.

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Towards the end of the set abundant cheesiness rises to the surface, with Van Halen being channeled in All The Bearded Ladies, whilst the grandiose power ballad Born With A Beard is something Bon Jovi would be proud of.

There is a singing swaying cluster of facial hair in the front few rows as things go up a notch with set closing hit single You Should Consider Having Sex With A Bearded Man –  a sentiment wholeheartedly endorsed by the male dominated audience.

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The Beards couldn’t pull off this whole concept without genuine musical talent and a sense of showmanship, both of which they possess in abundance. Cock rock poses, stadium choruses, outrageous sax solos and perpetual beard fondling pepper the set and as a result dull moments are scarce.

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Then the band files off stage and the audience is left grinning from ear to ear and pondering the state of their facial hair.

BEARDS!

Photos: Benon Julius William Otto Koebsch

Gavin Stocker

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Outside of Across The Ocean Gavin Stocker writes, records and performs music under the moniker of P Truck.

He can also be found clinging to his youth on a skateboard or wandering aimlessly through the bush.
Gavin Stocker